Monthly Archives: Oct 2016

Mind Health
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Selfish to be Selfless?

As we trod down the path of mental health we may at times feel selfish for focusing on ourselves. I have had many clients and students feel this way, in fact, most of them have. So this week I would like to share about the importance of you taking care of you, and giving yourself permission to do so.

Feeling selfish for taking care of yourself is a very transparent ego game… you need not play along.

I watched Arianna Huffington on Dr. Oz the other day, and they were speaking about the plague of insomnia sweeping our busy society. Arianna shared a perfect analogy for why you would want to sleep more; you know when you’re listening to a safety demonstration on a plane and they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others? (Surely how can you help someone else if you’re gasping for air?) Well the same goes for life… how can you help others if you, yourself, are struggling?

The answer is, you can’t. You may burn out, become reactionary, and end up hurting yourself and the others you were trying to help. Worst of all, you can become resentful of others.

There is no winning with this ego game.

In an effort to switch this thinking, let’s take a look at what it means to be selfless through an esoteric lens.

Remember where I always teach that the unconscious mind sees us all as One. It cannot decipher between a “you” and an “I”, there is just “I”. So, when you take care of yourself you are in fact helping the collective whole; you are helping to heal the collective mind. This healing is absolutely necessary! So, in that regard, it is never a waste of time for you to focus on yourself.

Next, let’s recall one of the laws of the mind shared in my book, MY MIND BOOK, “Your Actions Come From How You Think”. Therefore, it is helpful for everyone when you are in a good place in your mind, because then your actions and your words are going to be kind. When we engage with others we want to be aware of their feelings and their triggers so that we ensure we are communicating lovingly, but we can only have this higher level of awareness of others when we are feeling good!

Remember also that love extends out, so when we love ourselves that love is extended out into the world. A loving perception of the world arises only from a loving mind. And, when we love ourselves and take care of ourselves we will be less tempted to project negativity onto others remembering also that how we feel about ourselves is how we treat others.

From a loving state of mind we become more altruistic, caring and supportive. So, never feel guilty for taking care of you, because it is through self- care that you are a better friend, lover, sibling, child, employee, and citizen of the world.

Love and Selflessness,
Fiona

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Food, Healthy Tips, Mind Health
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Vitamin D and Mental Health

Sunny Smile

“Go out in the sun for 20 minutes a day when it’s sunny, and take vitamin D3. Those two things combined will help prevent a lot of problems, including depression”
Love Has Forgotten No One, page 88

Vitamin D is known for its amazing bodily support! The benefits of taking it are numerous as it helps to regulate normal cell function, ensures proper communication between cells and also helps to regulate immune functioning. Here are a few benefits to get you excited about taking your vitamin D (or maybe I’m the only one who gets excited about taking vitamins??)!

– Prevents cancer, cancer polyps, colds, the flu, bone breakage, multiple sclerosis, heart attacks, winter fatigue, amoung many other things
– Lessens the severity of arthritis, fibromyalgia, asthma, eczema, diabetes, amoung many other things
– Normalizes insulin levels and blood pressure levels

Beyond all of these AMAZING and innumerable bodily benefits, Vitamin D also helps us mentally, which is again, very exciting!!

“…although we know it’s really thought that causes these things (depression, anxiety). But these suggestions (taking Vitamin D and going out in the sun) will help you feel good, and if you feel good, you’re more likely to remember to apply the right thoughts. The better you think, the better you’ll feel. And the better you feel, the better you’ll think, especially if you have a discipline like the Course (A Course in Miracles) to guide you.”

Love Has Forgotten No One, page 88

Vitamin D has been talked about as being a helpful aid in combatting depression and also anxiety! So to help prevent the winter doldrums, get proactive! Either start taking your Vitamin D or up your current dosage to what’s best for you, including taking into account which area of the world you live in, your age and your skin colour.

For those who live in Calgary, Alberta, like I do, we can be tricked by our title as one of the sunniest cities in North America! We may assume that we are receiving enough Vitamin D by taking in the sun’s rays during the winter, but this is a falsehood. Although Calgary is very sunny we are also at a point on the earth where the sun hits us at an extreme angle during winter months, meaning the Vitamin D loving sun rays are not actually reaching us.

But because nature loves to take care of us, during the winter months we are not left wanting, we just need to supplement for what we’re missing. We can learn from the Eskimos of Canada and Native Americans who get their Vitamin D through diet, and so we can eat more salmon (wild, not farmed!! Farmed salmon is horrible, hormone-filled, red food colouring tinted crap… just don’t get me started…) so, WILD salmon, sardines, egg yolks (ORGANIC!!), tuna, yogurt and cheese are good sources. And then of course there are the vitamins themselves.

Essentially Vitamin D improves your overall mood and physical functioning. It is a natural, easy and impressive vitamin to add to your daily, feel-good regimen! And like the quote earlier on mentioned, you want to help yourself to think feel-good thoughts so don’t forget to take the time to laugh more during the winter to help lift your mood. Rent funny movies, watch more comedic shows, or go see stand-up comedians. Remember that the ego wants you to be serious and upset, so get some loving thoughts grooving to combat the ego and to help yourself feel good!

Love and a Healthy, Happy Winter,
Fiona

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Mind Health
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Social Media – A New Era of Responsibility

Social Media; engaging in it is awfully tempting, for it is speedy and briefly fulfilling. But like many things which are young (less than 20 years old with facebook itself being just over 10 years old), it is a breeding ground for immaturity and irresponsible curiosity. Its nature is like all things in this world, dualistic, where there is both the good and the bad. And like all things, it is up to you to be responsible and decide for what is good and to lay aside that which is bad.

With social media still in its infancy, we, as a society, really do not know what we have gotten ourselves into… it is like a science experiment on human emotion.

With its accessibility and speedy efficiency, people are not given the luxury of time to think before they share. Reactions are now on speed dial and the ego is rubbing its hands gleefully because of this. Many words have been written which have led to people’s emotional downfalls and in extreme cases, to suicide.

We have never lived like this before where we are literally overexposed and overexposing. And quite honestly, I don’t think everyone can handle it. For example, there is nothing to prevent a certain presidential candidate from blurting tweets at 3am, only to have his latest target wake up and see that they have been publicly ripped to shreds. And as we know, he is not the only one who does this, he is just a high profile person who does this but is still an excellent example of social irresponsibility.

All of this literary abuse is very unhealthy for our collective psyche. Remember that the unconscious mind is very sensitive and cannot decipher between a “you” and an “I”, it sees only an “I”. Therefore that which you say to others you are actually saying to yourself. That which you do to others, you are doing to yourself. And most importantly, that which you think about others, you are thinking and therefore reinforcing in yourself. So everything is just accumulating in our minds.

Social media makes it easy to share and reinforce our judgments. So, where we always do have the opportunity to ignore our ego’s judgments, we instead can feel tempted to keep those judgments, share them and therefore perpetuate them. Very mentally UNhealthy!

Also know that your social media arenas are part of your energetic and emotional space. You are welcoming people and their opinions into your world, so you want to be picky about who you’re inviting into your emotional world. You could think of it this way, would you have that person over for dinner? If not, then it may not be worth connecting with them on social media. You don’t want to judge them of course, but you have a right to keep your energetic and emotional space clear and healthy.

In order to support your own healthy mind-set it would be ideal to keep your energetic and emotional space as positive as possible, meaning, be mindful of that which you are allowing into your life. As I have shared many times before, forgiveness is the key to healing the mind, and it is hard to forgive negativity when you are constantly being bombarded by it. So, you do want to forgive the negativity, it’s just easier to do your forgiveness work when you are feeling happy, relaxed, and willing, three qualities which don’t come when you’re immersed in negativity.

So, I invite you to clear your social media world. This can be done gently. Facebook allows you to unfollow people but still remain friends with them. Remember that this is not about judging others or their choices, it’s simply about supporting yourself to have better experiences when you are conversing in the online world. Social media is a great place to connect with like-minded people and engage with causes you care about, so many beautiful things are possible with social media, but you have to make the choice to be part of the positivity and detach from the negativity.

Several other tips for having a good social media experience:

1. Watch your posture! Ever notice people who are on their phones? Heads down, shoulders hunched, legs crossed, ugh! Keep good posture and keep your head up!
2. Don’t compare! The ego thrives off of comparisons and this is easily done when you’re checking out social media, so when you see others being positive and you wish you could be that way too, remember that you can be that way. Don’t be jealous of others, be inspired! That’s a major distinction! All the beauty that is within them is within you too.
3. If you’re not sure on if you should comment on something, then don’t. Only share what feels totally natural and right. As written in my children’s book, My Mind Book, “ask if what you are about to do is equally loving for everyone involved.”

Love and Healthy Sharing,
Fiona

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Mind Health
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Don’t like it? Stop Talking About It

This week’s blog is about the dangers of repetition and reinforcement. I have already shared many times that things which are repeated become harder to undo in the mind, so you want to be cognizant of what ideas and thoughts you are repeating. Surely if they do not serve you, you would be wise to stop investing in them.

But more specifically I would like to write about our “stories,” the tales we tell about ourselves. Whether it is a poor relationship, a nagging physical ailment, the way someone speaks to you or whatever else it may be, you talking about it, complaining about it, or venting about it leaves you in the same low energy.

Where is the relief? Well, it has to come from you. It would be helpful for you to give yourself permission to move beyond the story.

Thoughts grow stronger the more you share them, this is a fundamental law of the mind. So, as you try to seek solace in sharing your negative stories with others, you are in fact making them stronger in your own mind and therefore in your physical experience. (The same goes for anxious thoughts by the way! Don’t share them! Relax and breathe through the fear, it will pass.)

I understand fully that it is super tempting to share your story with many people. It can feel therapeutic. But following the previously mentioned law of the mind, you want to ignore the ego’s temptation to share the story with many people. Because what can start as therapeutic can easily end up to the ego being gleefully stroked.

When I have an issue with something I prefer to speak to one person I trust about it as opposed to sharing the issue with many people. By trust, I mean someone who will hear you but not see you as a victim. Someone who lets you cry it out but then throws on a funny movie and holds your hand. Someone who doesn’t personalize your anger or sadness. Someone who, when you’re ready, helps you to move forward positively and see the situation in a healthy, new light.

I invite you to identify which people in your life you can trust to speak with about any issues you may have. Perhaps there may be a person who is better for you to talk about business with and another who is better for speaking about romance with. But choose wisely. Think of it this way, you’re not going to ask your Grandfather for fashion advice, are you? Probably not. Or your brother who orders pizzas all the time, you’re not going to ask him to hear your foodie ideas for your cocktail party, are you?

Now, if your particular story has something to do with a past event, then let it go. Easier said than done, sure, but here are two quotes about the past to help you along; “The one wholly true thought one can hold about the past is that it is not here.” A Course in Miracles, Lesson 8 True. So, why do we give the past so much power and energy? It’s not here. Decide to move on from your past stories. Keep the lessons, apply forgiveness, but let it go. Don’t give something which is not occurring any power.

The second quote helpful quote is; “Forgive the past and let it go, for it is gone.” A Course in Miracles T.26.V.14.1

There is a difference between dwelling in the past and learning from the past. Dwelling in it means that you have not freed yourself or others from it. You hold yourself in the past and hold the past against others. This is hardly productive or healthy. You and others deserve more than to be held prisoner to the past.

“Remember the good in your brother. Remember the good in yourself. Let all fears and judgments dissolve where they arise. Admit your mistakes and be tolerant of the mistakes others make.”
Love Without Conditions, page 45

This is what I mean from taking the lessons learned with you, and letting everything else go. Keep the love, lose the fear.

Now, if your particular story is occurring in the present, like physical pain or daily challenges with a co-worker, then you require a shift in your perception about the situation. Become proactive for your own comfort. Can you seek holistic treatment for your physical ailment? Do you need to be more active or eat a little better in order for it to go away? Essentially, ask yourself what positive changes you can make to support your physical body in feeling better. Also, acknowledge any thoughts which correspond with the physical pain and shift them.

For dealing with challenging circumstances or people, remember that the situation or person is in your awareness so it may heal. So, again, how can you shift from a negative story to a positive one? What do you need to forgive? And what new healthy tone do you need to set? For example, the next time one of your confidants asks you about your story, you can shift it like so, “You know, I’ve felt compelled to shift my thinking around it and so I’ve made some positive steps to remedy it. I feel good about my actions and am curious and excited to see the positive developments. So, how was your weekend?”

Remember that when it comes to creating positive change it is essential to use the mind appropriately so you are properly supported. Trying to change others or the symptoms does not work. As you read in last week’s blog about working at the level of the mind, it is you that has to change your mind about the situation in order for you to feel true and lasting peace.

By letting your story go you are clearing your mind of past preoccupations. In this clear space is where a new and brighter future begins for it is in this precious, quiet and perfect present moment of non-judgment where healing truly occurs. Give it a try.

Love and Healthy Sharing,
Fiona

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