Monthly Archives: Feb 2017

Mind Health
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Don’t be Sorry

In this week’s blog I am sharing about something which we all do, that is no good for us! It is saying, “I’m sorry.”

As a Canadian this is particularly tricky as a large part of our cultural identity is to apologize for the simplest of things, all the time. Truly, I am curious, what are we actually feeling so sorry and guilty for?

Canadian culture aside, guilt is a driving motivator for ALL the NEGATIVITY in the entire world! Nothing good ever comes from acting from your guilt, for when we do things because we feel guilty, we are only compounding the guilt in our minds.

Guilt is ever present, subtly hanging out in the unconscious mind fueling the ego and popping up here and there to scare you!

We were all taught that it was polite to say “I’m sorry” after making a mistake, but it’s not the healthiest thing to do for your self-esteem.

To understand this we have to remember the sensitivity of our unconscious minds. The level of the unconscious mind is expansive and it is the level where ALL the information we take in, goes to. Even the things we don’t remember we were exposed to, they head straight to the unconscious mind. Information like what our peripheral vision sees, or conversations going on in the background. Also, our quips or snap judgments which we make about ourselves or others, although brief, these head straight to the unconscious mind. These judgments, all of this information, it is never gone. So, we need to be careful about that which we choose to judge, for everything that we judge, we are binding ourselves to!

Now, let’s take a closer look at the word “sorry.” It seems pretty harmless and even polite, but I assure you that it is quite the opposite.

If you look up “sorry” in the dictionary you will see that the origin of the word stems from fear-based words and ideas. For example, in Old English the word “sorry” derives from “distressed, grieved and full of sorrow”; in Proto-Germanic, “painful”; in Middle Dutch, “sore, sad”; and in Old High German “sore, full of sores, pain” (physical and mental), relating to “suffering, sick and ill.” Meaning of “wretched, worthless and poor”… ugh.

The synonyms for “sorry” (used in different manners) include; regretful, sympathetic, pitying, unhappy, depressed, sorrowing, grievous, mournful, painful, abject, contemptible, worthless, and shabby.

If we, for some reason, at the end of reading this unfriendly list of words require further clarification we are invited to check out the definition of “wretched.”

Again, ugh…

Using a word like “sorry” is simply not good for your psyche, and your mind knows it.

Not all is lost though! As it is humble to acknowledge our mistakes and it is important to be compassionate and polite to each other, we can use some replacement terms. I replace “sorry” with the words “pardon” or “excuse.”

For example, “Please excuse my lateness, I got lost on the way here.” Or, “Oh, that’s what you meant! Pardon me, I mistook what you said.”

Now, if you’re going to invest in making this switch, know that you’re going to have egos who will want you to say “I’m sorry” for this or that. If someone really wants you to say “I’m sorry” then keep in mind that it is their ego that wants to hear that word. The ego wants you to feel guilty and it wants you to own it.

As usual, when it comes to the ego, you need not play along and that is always your choice and your free will.

So, for fun, let’s take a look at the origin of the word, “pardon.”

“To grant, to forgive.”

Oh look! One of my favourite things, forgiveness! The only thing which heals the mind of its ego identification.

Remember that the ego believes that you are a sinner, deserving of punishment and death. It is this belief which perpetuates all the world’s problems. Sin, punish, sin, punish, sin, punish. The whole time this cycle continues, negative karma accumulates and the feeling of guilt compounds for both “sinner” and “punisher” while in turn making the “punisher” a “sinner” and vice versa. Messy, right? That’s ego!

The only thing which breaks the ego’s sick cycle of hell is forgiveness. Remember it this way, the Law of Forgiveness overtakes the Law of Karma, every time. Meaning, there is a way out of mental hell.

As I never like to perpetuate guilt, I am always aware of the words I use, because I know that my sensitive unconscious mind has its ears wide open! So words like “sorry”, I have no time for. If I catch myself saying it, it’s all good, but I do take the time to correct myself in my mind and I say…

“I am not sorry. I am not guilty. I know what I am, I am innocent.”

If someone says they are sorry to me, I politely say, “Please don’t ever be sorry. It’s all good.”

You may wonder, are we letting someone off the hook by doing this? Your ego would say yes, but your Spirit knows better. We don’t want to set ourselves up as judge, jury and executioner. This is very unhealthy for the mind and leads to a lot of mental clutter.

If you are having trouble moving past something and you do want an apology from someone, that’s all good, just simply be aware and be gentle with yourself. This is a process; it’s personal and it’s all done in your mind. It really is, for you.

The mind needs time to get used to new ideas, but it is our willingness which helps us get there.

Love and Inner Peace,
Fiona

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Healthy Tips, Mind Health, Spirituality
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My Self-Help Book List!

Hello Lovely,

I have been on the self-improvement path for twelve years, seven of those years have been as a Teacher, where I have taught the theory of the metaphysical program, A Course in Miracles, and also on the topics of Relationships, the power of the Subconscious Mind and how to overcome anxiety. I have also, as you know, authored a children’s book, where I introduce to children how the mind functions and offer communication tips for caring adults in the accompanying parental guide. All of this means that I have read a TON of books!!

All of them on the topic of mental health and how the mind functions.

In fact, the last fictional book I read was the Da Vinci Code when it was first released. So, I’ve been all up in the non-fiction, self-help world for over a decade.

So, I wanted to share the books that I have found to be both eloquent and helpful in their own unique way.

Their teachings reflect my own passionate quest for understanding myself and our collective purpose here on earth.

As what prompted me to delve into self-help was a bout of anxiety, I began with the book “From Panic to Power” by Lucinda Bassett. This book was critical in helping me out of anxiety as it normalized all of my feelings and even presented the commonalities in people’s fears. These commonalities made it clear to me that the ego was just playing a game with me, and fear’s working became transparent. This book is a gentle first step towards relief for anyone who is going through anxiety! Expose the fear with this helpful book.

Next on the must-read list is, The Disappearance of the Universe” by Gary Renard. As you know, I quote this book a lot. It is ideal for students of, or those interested in reading, A Course in Miracles. If you plan on reading this book, be prepared to spend some time with it, it took me about two months to complete it. The reason for why it takes so long is not that it is lengthy, (it’s longer than most books but nothing compared to The Pillars of the Earth), but it takes long because it challenges your present perceptions. If you’re looking for a mental challenge, put down the “brain games” and give this book a try! It’s humorous with some tasty historical tidbits and makes the path of enlightenment desirable and achievable. Open your mind and delve in! To read excerpts from this book visit http://www.garyrenard.com/Preview.htm

“The ego is a master illusionist. From your birth it diverts your attention by giving you – and this calls for another drum roll, please – problems.” The Disappearance of the Universe

Let the mind bending continue with “A Vast Illusion” by the late Kenneth Wapnick. This book delves into the illusion of time and how we can use our experience in time for the best possible purpose, forgiveness. This book is excellent for students of, A Course in Miracles, who are curious about the science behind the theory of ACIM. This book also explains the personal detriment of holding onto grudges, or fear of any kind. (Yes, there is a correlation between the experience of time and choosing fear.) It would be difficult not to forgive after reading this book. Personal responsibility is what you can expect after reading this hidden gem.

“This interpretation ties the future to the present, and extends the present rather than the past. But if you interpret your function as destruction, you will lose sight of the present and hold on to the past to ensure a destructive future.” Kenneth Wapnick

One of my favourites on this list is, Power vs. Force by Dr. David Hawkins! It is one of my faves because it exposes how horrible aspartame is for the human body, but also because it brings to light the differences in human experience consequently inviting a more compassionate viewpoint of others. In this book you will also find one of my go-to resources, “The Map of Consciousness.” This map highlights the human emotional experience and the corresponding actions and vibrational levels (read this book to learn more about vibrational levels, very cool) of the emotions. Ultimately this book teaches that we have the Power of Love within each of us, and that this power for good is what will bring personal peace and joy.

“This is the first time the anatomy of consciousness itself has been delineated in pure form in its entirety…” Dr. David Hawkins

Next up, another one of my favourites, Love Without Conditions by Paul Ferinni. If you want to learn what real love is, this book is for you. Simply through reading it, you become more compassionate both for yourself and your human experience, but also the collective human experience. It teaches that we cannot fix others but that we can certainly love them and love them without conditions. Essentially, if you’ve ever wondered how you can be the love which you truly are, this book guides you to that truth. Implement its principles and your day will go well.

“You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. And, as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions.
Your attempt to find love outside yourself always fails, because you cannot receive from another something you haven’t given to yourself. When you withhold love from yourself, you attract others into your life who are doing the same thing.”
Love Without Conditions, pg. 50

If you’re sick of your self-talk, The Untethered Soul, will quickly become your best friend. Written in layman’s terms and through relatable examples, Michael A. Singer, guides us through the annoying inner roommate, how we build up defenses against our own happiness and ends with the importance of our relationship with Source. I personally loved that peppered throughout this book are practical exercises to release resistance and increase self-awareness. If you’re an anxious person, this book would be number two for you to read after “From Panic to Power.” The helpfulness offered by this book makes it worth millions. Personal happiness is on the other side of this cover.

“To end suffering, you must first realize that your psyche is not okay. You must then acknowledge that it does not have to be that way. It can be healthy. It is truly a gift just to realize that you don’t have to put up with, or protect, your psyche.” Michael A. Singer

Now, for something a little different… Elon Musk – Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future by Ashlee Vance. I always appreciate a big thinker! I feel the world needs people who demonstrate incredible courageousness, and who relinquish the need for external opinion. Enter, Elon Musk… at least, his biography.

From getting his arse kicked repeatedly by bullies and enduring the stern, endless ramblings of his father, all the way to consistently dismissing naysayers, losing a child and blowing up a few rockets as an adult, Elon has proven to be a shining light in the entrepreneurial and visionary world! His biography is both interesting and inspiring and truly proves that you can start with a few dollars and unwavering personal belief to become a game changer for the entire human race. Literally, you can reach the stars!

“‘I came to the conclusion that really we should aspire to increase the scope and scale of human consciousness in order to better understand what questions to ask.’ The teenage Musk then arrived at his ultralogical mission statement. ‘The only thing that makes sense to do is strive for greater collective enlightenment,’ he said.” Elon Musk

Now onto my favourite realm, the realm of happiness; The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. This book is loaded with SCIENCE, specifically, the science of happiness. I always enjoy it when fear is shown to be nothing but a hindrance and we are given permission to be happy (what a concept). After reading this book I am now shamelessly able to watch Billy Connolly skits, because, guess what? It’s good for me and it makes me a better person 😉 Seriously, a giggle goes a long way and this book shares how and why to include “being happy” in your daily regimen. Most importantly, it shares that we should focus on our inner happiness in order to gain external success! So, there you have it, lose the useless fear and go watch something funny!

“Science has shown that seeking out the positive has too many tangible advantages to be dismissed as mere cockeyed optimism or wishful thinking.” Shawn Achor

Now, I present ancient wisdom, the Tao Te Ching. I love this book, its wisdom radiates through its cover and sucks you into a world of a-ha moments! When I’m feeling mentally agitated, I read from the Tao Te Ching. Written by Lao Tzu (meaning “Old Master”), the Tao Te Ching is presented in 81 short sections and although it is over 2500 years old, its meaningfulness has not changed, and it never will. Its correlations with the teachings of, A Course in Miracles, are obvious proving that the truth does not change, it is simply presented in different forms. I highly recommend reading the Tao Te Ching, it invites you to take the higher road.

“There are three jewels that I cherish: compassion, moderation, and humility. With compassion, you will be able to be brave, with moderation, you will be able to give to others, with humility, you will be able to become a great leader.” Lao Tzu

And finally, my literary true love, A Course in Miracles. This book is actually a guide to the undoing of the ego and a path to enlightenment. It is also a lifelong companion. Like the Tao Te Ching, every word is purposeful and there is no error. A truly uncompromising work. Self-described as “simple”, A Course in Miracles, states that it is our egos which make things difficult. ACIM teaches about the mind, the different mental levels and the functioning of both the ego and Spirit. If you’re ready to question every value that you hold, lay littleness aside and feel the magnitude of God (I’m not kidding), ACIM is here for you…

“Forgiveness is the means by which we will remember. Through forgiveness the thinking of the world is reversed.” A Course in Miracles

Love and Happy Reading,
Fiona

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