Monthly Archives: Mar 2017

Healthy Tips, Mind Health

Less Dense

Have you ever felt that you are filled with heaviness, like you’re carrying around Jacob Marley’s ball and chains?

This weight can be either emotional or physical and is a tell-tale sign that you’re holding onto negativity of some sorts.

It’s not a comfortable feeling, the heaviness, and although it may not be totally unbearable, it can be quite fatiguing to feel it all the time.

In the spiritual world we refer to this heaviness as feeling “dense.” The body feels dense and emotional misgivings also feel dense. One could surmise that the old saying, “lighten up!” originated as a hopeful remedy to the uncomfortable feeling of heaviness.

When you recognize that you are feeling dense, heavy or melancholy, that is your red flag to take some action! So, here are some tips on how to lighten up!

To alleviate physical heaviness you can….

Deep Breathe – Breath work is an excellent way to rid your body of tension, it is also the easiest! Take a moment, hopefully in a quiet area, to slow down your breathing. As you do this, envision your muscles relaxing, focusing particularly on the areas where we hold tension, like our stomachs, backs, hips, shoulders and jaws. Breathe deeply into your abdomen and as you breathe out let the air move slowly past your teeth, tongue and out your lips.

Straighten Up – One of the ways we end up feeling heavy is because of our posture. Have you ever noticed the posture of someone who is upset? Shoulders hunched forward and head down, sometimes they’re even sitting in the fetal position. This causes great strain in the back and adds to the physical discomfort of feeling heavy. So, if you notice your posture is poor, correct it. Straighten your back, lift your shoulders up one inch then bring them back an inch or so. Next, (and this is a big one!) put your head up! It is harder to think of and hold onto negative, emotional thoughts if your head is up! This is scientifically proven, as when you look up the visual part of your brain is triggered and you move out of your limbic, emotional brain which is triggered when we look down.

Add More Sunshine – Take advantage of when it is sunny out! You can do some deep breathing outside in the sunshine if weather permits, but if it’s cold, yet sunny, sit inside next to the window and get some rays on your skin! The light and warmth from the sun is enough to help lift anyone’s mood, so don’t be shy to take a moment and bask in the sunshine. If it is cloudy out, I turn on some warm lighting like my Grandmother’s old softly-hued lamp and I also turn on my salt lamps. The warm hue mimics the sun and brings a level of comfort to my environment. This definitely helps to keep me feeling lighter both physically and emotionally.

Drink Water – The body is easily made less dense by us drinking more water. As water moves through our bodies it cleanses and flushes out toxins while also hydrating our many cells. It is actually quite simple to create the habit of drinking more water when you think about how beneficial it is for your body! Every sip you know helps to purify and fuel your body. You can easily jazz up your water with citrus, fruit or fresh herbs. I like to drink hot water as I find it soothing and it relaxes my system. However you can help yourself to incorporate more water into your daily life, rock it out! You’re worth it and your body will thank you!

To alleviate emotional heaviness…

Forgive – This really is the key to overall lightness. Forgiveness releases stress from our minds therefore helping us to be less preoccupied with negative past events. Grudges, anger, sadness and all emotional pain can easily be released through your practice of forgiveness and it is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself!

Chill on the Judgment – Consistently judging things is a sure way to add stress and tension and therefore heaviness to your life. When you find yourself upset or agitated, give yourself permission to chill out. Stop judging whatever it is you’ve been judging and relax your mind. This may be a good time to follow your breath, watch something funny, do something physical or meditate. Practicing the art of non-judgment is truly freeing and contributes to your mental discipline.

I hope these tips help with keeping you feeling light, as you are meant to be! Implement them for you are worth a healthy, peaceful mind and a relaxed body.

Love and Feeling Peace,

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Healthy Tips, Mind Health

Turn the Other Cheek

‘Turn the Other Cheek!”

This is an incredibly old and wise statement, but it is also widely misinterpreted. Many believe that it means that once you’ve been smacked, turn your cheek so you can get smacked again! Does this seem wise? Does it seem sane? No, not really.
There is a deeper and more helpful psychology to this statement, so let’s delve in!
One of the main messages I share is that you are not a victim of others. You are strong, powerful and perfectly capable in every way. We all are!

When it comes to conflict with others this is where we have the opportunity to really show how resilient and powerful we can be! And we want to show this resiliency not just for ourselves, but as a demonstration of love and strength to the other party.

“Turn the other cheek” does not mean, “hit me again”, it actually means, “You cannot hurt me.” This is a huge distinction!

If someone cannot hurt you and you tell them as much, then you are openly acknowledging their innate Spiritual innocence. Only the ego hurts others, so we want to remind others and ourselves that we are not the ego and that the ego cannot affect us. This helps greatly with undoing us from ego identification and is very healthy for the collective psyche!

If we decide to remain a “victim” then we are amplifying the ego in ourselves and others. Also, when we judge someone as guilty and punish them, we are only making the feeling of guilt stronger within them and the consequences of this are not so pretty. Sadness, self-hate, shame, embarrassment, hatred, revenge and the like all stem from this place of “you did me wrong!” So, we are again, amplifying the ego in ourselves and others because it is only our egos that would make someone feel guilty and it is only our egos that would accept that ego judgment as true. We amplify their guilt by responding to their negative behaviour and seeing it as a real attack upon us. But, this is an ego trap we don’t want to step into for it puts us in a place of being a victim and them as victimizers.

We quite simply need to be stronger than that!

I once had someone who was very upset with me, and they let me know about it. Although I felt that they were unjustified in their feelings, I did recognize very clearly that they were in a bad place. There was a lot going on in their life and although I was admittedly hurt by their feelings about me, I knew they were also in mental pain and I didn’t want to contribute to that pain and make my own pain worse. So, in my email reply to them I wrote, “Your opinion of me does not affect my opinion of myself. Your opinion of me does not affect my opinion of you.” I reminded them that I do like them and care about their feelings and that I would not take any part in this negativity, but when they were ready to speak in a calm manner, I was absolutely willing to have that calm and loving conversation.

We need to rise above the ego temptation to say “poor me” because if we remain in victim-mode, no healing occurs. No good and no healing would have come from me feeling like a victim of that person. I knew that in the interest of peace, I had to rise above my own pain with forgiveness in my heart, in order to see their life situation and that they were not a mean person, they were a hurt person.

Negative moments can easily be used for what they are truly for, healing.

Negativity can catapult us to a place of higher awareness, where we recognize our inner strength. But, we will never heal if we are too busy being a victim and making someone else feel guilty.

The biggest thing to know that will help with turning the other cheek is the remembrance that hurt people hurt. So those who do lash out at us are coming from a place of self-pain. Never discount this, because it is true. We all know what it’s like to be in a place of mental anguish; we are sensitive, reactionary and vulnerable. In this state we require patience and compassion from those around us in order to help us through it, and others deserve the same from us when they are going through something, whether we know them personally, or not.

We can certainly learn to handle negativity differently, better and in a solution-focused, non-accusatory manner. And this all begins with turning the other cheek!

Love and Peace,

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Mind Health, Spirituality

The Habit of Seeking

As humans, we have a habit of searching and it is the ego prompting the search. We are receiving a constant directive to search outside of ourselves for meaning, for happiness, for love.

This is a major error and a useless habit.

If we continue to search outside of ourselves for meaning, we will be lost, searching forever.

The truth that all we require is already within us. It has to be there because of the simple (yet I understand hard to believe) truth, that Love, Source, God, It is part of you, not outside of you. The sooner you recognize this, the better your life will be and the more you will relax into the truth that you really need not search for anything, including Love. You’re it! You’re ALL of it!

In Gary Renard’s book, The Disappearance of the Universe, it is taught that it is the arrogance of the ego which tells us that we are not part of Love. But really the arrogance is thinking we are separate from our Source, from Love. How’s that for a switcheroo in thinking?!

So, you are not arrogant for thinking that you are perfect love, you’re actually right on point. And the more you identify with love, the more the experience of being love will be real for you, the evidence will speak for itself.

The Love which is present in our lives through our romantic relationships, familial relationships, even the love of a pet, these are representative of the Love which is within us and that we have extended out into the world! The beauty of a flower, the joy of playing your favourite sport, or even having a case of side-splitting giggles, these are reflections of love. You can see love in a work of art, in an animal, in nature… all of it. The point is that you are the one seeing it, therefore it’s coming from you. To “see” literally means to “perceive.” So, it’s all up to your state of mind!

This is why the eternal quest for Love outside of you is therefore senseless because it comes from your perception.

The reality is that we attract those who are like us into our spheres. We partner up with these attractors in many ways and they can show up as business partners, spouses, siblings, friends and even enemies.

Essentially, you can see how you’re doing with your attraction levels by taking a good look at those you decide to spend time with. This could be a good realization, or a bad one.

One of my favourite books, Love Without Conditions, teaches that, “You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. And, as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions.”

Powerful wisdom! And so true.

It continues by stating, “Your attempt to find love outside yourself always fails, because you cannot receive from another something you haven’t given to yourself. When you withhold love from yourself, you attract others into your life who are doing the same thing.”

We really never give ourselves credit for our major role as the Director of our lives, and the reason for this is because the ego wants to keep us irresponsible for our own happiness and helpless victims of a cruel and senseless world. Why does it do this? So, it can survive. The ego doesn’t survive in the presence of love, so if we discover that we are love itself, the ego dissolves. The ego is very threatened by this and is why it is such a struggle for us to feel secure in love, peace and joy. A Course in Miracles teaches that we are actually afraid of love more than we are afraid of fear because of this ego dynamic.

Essentially, we are the ones who need to develop and strengthen our relationship with Love. It is part of us, we just need to let it grow.

So, how can you incorporate more self-love into your life? Will you be more patient with yourself? Forgive more frequently? Take time to breathe and relax? Give yourself permission to enjoy the hug from your loved one? What does self-love look like to you? Explore and let yourself be happy, everyone around you will thank you.

Remember, you can’t give what you don’t have. Love yourself, others, and the world a little more.

Unconditional Love,

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Healthy Tips, Mind Health, Spirituality

What if Everything Actually is Okay?

“There is one thought that should be remembered throughout the day. It is a thought of pure joy; of peace.”
A Course in Miracles

Have you ever felt the relief of knowing that everything is okay? For a moment you genuinely feel peace; you may take a deep, relaxing breath or a sense of euphoria may come over you.

We’ve all had this feeling to some extent and it is truly a blissful experience.

So, why can’t we feel this way more often?

The truth is, we can!

I once held a class where I was sharing about the power of the mind and a gentleman raised his hand and asked me, “So, how do we become happy?”

I simply replied, “You have to choose it. It’s a conscious decision.”

It is your free will to choose for happiness and peace, and no one can take your free will from you. Your mind is yours, the power is in your hands.

I understand that this may all seem easier said than done, but why is that?

It’s because of our sense of self-worth. If you don’t feel like you’re worth it, you’re not going to do anything positive for yourself. All good work comes from the motivation that the project, goal or in this case, person, is worth it! You’re never going to commit if you don’t feel that you are worth the incredible work it takes to commit to building the habit of happiness.

“The problem is not one of concentration; it is the belief that no one, including yourself, is worth consistent effort.”
A Course in Miracles – T.p.63-4

The ego has set us up to have a consistent feeling of doom and gloom, an underlying fear potent enough to always be felt to some degree.

Of course you know, this is ego. But, it is very important to recognize where the ego is at work in your life so you can overcome it. So, are you done with feeling a consistent level of fear?

I know I am!

So, here are some actions steps to help you know that everything actually is okay…

First, recognize that you are worth being happy! You deserve to heal from your mistakes (which also stops you from repeating them) and you deserve to be the best person you can be! Because, a happy you helps everyone and the world!

Second, trust that you are where you are meant to be at this moment. A Course in Miracles teaches that we can’t help but be at the right place at the right time. To help with this idea remember that if you feel you are stuck in some negative situation, then that situation is occurring so you can heal it to move past it. Nothing is without purpose! So, take some control and forgive the situation, see it differently so you can heal it and move on!

Third, release your day to Spirit! This will help you to release your ego’s control and it puts your mind in the right place. Every morning say, “Spirit, you please be in charge of ALL of my thoughts and ALL of my actions today.” Easy. Let the day flow from there.

Fourth, build the habit of feeling that everything is actually okay. Allot pockets of time throughout your day to commit to this idea. Sit in a quiet space, even just for a moment and feel peace. You need to develop this idea within your own mind to help it grow, so it will take practice, but remember that the mind is malleable, so good ideas require your hard work!

Remember that you are worth the commitment, and it is a commitment! I love what Gabrielle Bernstein teaches, that it may take time and energy to feel good, but it also takes time and energy to feel like shit. So, where are you going to put your time and energy? You’re going to feel one way or the other, which is up to you.

Love and You’re Worth It,

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