Guilt, Sickness and Praying for Others

Hello Love, 

Recently, a subscriber wrote in about her experience watching her Mom's ailing health. She writes...

"As my 87 mother is hospitalized, I've tried to immerse myself in my practice trying to live some of the lessons.

I have prayed the Holy Spirit prayer, take this from me and judge it for me... very often, every time I feel going into despair.  I then try to foster peace and love inside of me, but often I want to see something in this plane of reality. How do I know I've prayed with my right mind and not my ego?

The idea that I'm actually creating this fills me with guilt and fear. How do I apply this and still feel loved and innocent?"

When our loved ones are experiencing sickness, it can bring up a lot of emotion, uncertainty and wonder of what we can do to help. This subscriber opened up about her feelings of guilt and fear strengthening as she cares for her mother.

This is a situation which I feel many of us can resonate with: wanting the best for our loved ones but knowing we can only control so much. This leads us to pray a little harder and try to manage as much as we can. When we don't get the results we want, we can feel let down and overwhelmed. 

Before I delve into answering the questions posed, I want to note that when we attempt to control circumstances and the world around us, what we are really doing is trying to prevent our unconscious guilt from being triggered.

Our unconscious guilt over the tiny, mad idea (thinking we left our Source) is strong and incredibly uncomfortable. This guilt surfaces in many ways like anxiety, depression, sickness, anger, sadness, boredom, etc. Throughout our daily lives, we are essentially tiptoeing around to make sure our unconscious guilt doesn't get poked. In short, we control. And always, control is an attribute of the ego. 

Now, for the first question: "How do I know I've prayed with my right mind and not the ego?" 

There is a major difference between praying with the wrong mind of the ego and praying with the Right Mind of the Holy Spirit. That distinction is this: when you pray with the ego you are coming from a place of lack and are looking for a change in the external world so you can be happy or feel at peace. When you pray with the Holy Spirit, you are acknowledging the Truth that behind the ego’s physical façade of the body and this world, you (and your loved ones) are safe, healed and innocent right now.

You may think; “Ummm, but how does that help me when I see this body in front of me clearly suffering?!” And I totally understand. So, let’s get into how praying with your Right Mind is the most helpful thing you can do for someone else – and yourself!

When we pray from a Right-Minded perspective, we are aligning our minds with the Truth and that Truth will trickle into the effect of the physical experience in its own, helpful way. When you connect with the Truth and your Source, a loving Effect can be that you receive inspired thoughts which will help you feel peaceful and can guide you to a way which you can be helpful.

You will never get the inspiration or peace you are seeking by using the conflicted ego mind.

When you pray from the ego, you are coming from guilt and you can expect your experience of fear to be amplified. You may find yourself trying to control many things which are out of your control. Doing so may lead you to feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Essentially, from an ego perspective you will experience suffering in some form like anxiety, stress, or in this subscriber’s case, an amplification of guilt and fear in general.

I encourage you to read the Course’s supplement, the Song of Prayer, for guidance on how to pray Right-Mindedly.

Now, for the second question brought up; how do I do this and still feel loved and innocent?

This subscriber mentioned that she felt responsible for what her mother is going through. As Course students, we are familiar with the teaching that this world is an effect of our minds and because of this, when we see sickness or war, or things of that nature, we feel we are the ones who created these things.

It’s important to remember that things like sickness and war, yes, come from the separated mind of the ego but the ego mind is a collective mind being experienced by over six billion humans and by who knows how many other lifeforms.

Your only power in this world is in choosing who you perceive this world, others and yourself, with - ego or Spirit. 

Whatever our loved ones seem to go through comes from a decision made at an unconscious level before they decided to experience the incarnation they presently are. 

Also, yes, we all chose to have people in our lives who would go through trials which, if seen correctly by us, would help us and them heal at the unconscious level. This is not something to feel guilty about!!! 

This world is a classroom where you unlearn all that the ego has taught you. Through the Holy Spirit's eyes, all trials will help you and the collective mind return to the awareness of our Oneness with Source. 

The most loving things we can do for others is bring comfort at a physical level if guided to while at the same time holding the Truth for them at the level of the mind. You can always see the Truth in them while they go through their experiences.

If you find yourself triggered by their experience for some reason, Truly Forgive your reaction and practice seeing the Truth. That way, that person’s experience can help teach you what you both really are – One as the perfect, innocent and very loving Child of Source.

Love, 

Fiona