Healing Relationships - The Healing Possibility Inherent Within Each of Your Relationships
Hello All!
I wanted to share the inspiration behind the Healing Relationships Meditation Bundle.
In the past, you may have heard me refer to an abusive relationship I went through in my twenties. I dated a guy for 6 years, and we lived together for 4 of those years. Throughout the relationship, I noticed he had a low self-esteem and a temper. Yet, I also noticed he had a good heart and I particularly took comfort in the fact that he had a loving and healthy relationship with his parents. Things changed though and in the last six months of our relationship, something within him switched and his temper worsened. I now found myself on the receiving end of daily, yes daily, emotional abuse. Every evening ended with him yelling at me while I plugged my ears and cradled our dog in my lap with my elbows.
It was a version of hell.
On one particular occasion, he was yelling at me while I stood at the top of our very narrow staircase and I had a strong intuitive nudge to move myself into the bedroom as the threat of him pushing me down those stairs became very real.
As I worked with my sister at the time, she would pick me up every morning to go to work and she commented on something I didn’t realize. She said to me, “You’ve lost your voice again. I can always tell he has been yelling at you as you always lose your voice.”
She was right. For some reason, even though I wasn’t yelling back at him, I would wake up and my voice would be scratchy or gone completely. It was a powerful realization. Perhaps it was an obvious effect that I was not using my voice to stand up for myself or leave the situation?
At this time, I had been a student of A Course in Miracles for a few years. The teachings always comforted me and one quote in particular became my favourite. This teaching was; “Forgive the past and let it go. For, it is gone.”
I loved this quote so much that I had my artist father create a poster for me with these words and I had the poster framed and put up in my bedroom. Every morning I would awaken after a night of my ex yelling at me and I would see those words; "Forgive the past and let it go. For it is gone." I thought I was a dutiful ACIM student as I would immediately say, “Holy Spirit, I forgive what happened last night.” And I would carry on with my day, voiceless and emotionally strained, only for the pattern to of emotional abuse to repeat again.
It wasn’t until I took a weekend workshop on how to do Angel Readings that I started to receive clarity on what I should do about this situation with my then-boyfriend. Throughout the Angel Reading workshop, us participants would of course practice giving each other readings. The first question each reader would ask me is, “What would you like to know from the Angels?” I would fearfully squash the real question I wanted to ask which was, “What do I do about my relationship?” and would ask an emotionally easier question about my career. Yet, a curious thing would always happen every time I asked the fake question of what to do with my career, and I pulled the same card which said, “Leave this unhealthy situation.” Each reader would always be confused and assumed I was in a bad career position which I had to leave, which I wasn’t, I really loved my job at the time. I knew the card was in response to the real issue in my life, my relationship.
I pulled that card 5 times in one weekend! Was that a sign, or what?!
Within a month of that Angel Reading class, a new man came into my life which I developed feelings for and I broke up with my ex. After the breakup, my ex was still causing problems but there was a notable, positive change within me. I knew that he was hurting, and frankly, he was hurting before we broke up or else he would never have been so angry. I knew that he was a massive call for love, and honestly, so was I. Even though we weren't together physically, the mental and painful dynamic of our relationship had to change in order for us both to have peace.
In the time after the breakup, I was vigilant to stay Right-Minded about him. I was finally able to sincerely apply true forgiveness because I was no longer in the direct ego battle. I asked my family and friends to not speak of him negatively. A breakup, to me, was not an opportunity to make someone an enemy, it was an opportunity for healing.
At night, before going to sleep, I would lay aside the ego-version I had of my ex, and I would welcome seeing the light of truth in him. This new vision of him was easier to behold purely because his ego wasn’t screaming in my face. And in this new, quieter environment, I was finally able to practice those words in the poster my Dad created for me. In the peace, I could now truly practice forgiving the past and letting it go, for it really is gone. What I want to point out here is that I was no longer recovering from an emotional event, and so those words became relevant to me. When someone has just yelled at you and you’re feeling your own ego respond, genuine true forgiveness seems hard to do. So, sometimes healthy space is called for. You can check in with the Holy Spirit about such steps as every situation is different.
As my subscribers, you may also be aware that I recently had to change the dynamic with my mother, as that was also an emotionally abusive relationship. Clearly, this is one of my forgiveness lessons in my life and I’m going to continue to do my forgiveness work so it can ultimately be healed. I have had success in changing the dynamic of the relationship with my Mom, and I’m happy to say that things are more respectful and healthier between us. There’s still forgiveness work to be done, but that’s okay because the ego battle between us no longer exists. Now it is the healing of painful memories.
What I want to highlight is that we all go through our tough relationships, such is the nature of our physical experience here. But it is absolutely possible to be Right-Minded about those relationships and allow them to become the Holy Relationships they were meant to be. And for clarity, a Holy Relationship doesn’t mean you have to live with the person, what it means is that the ego content you had within the relationship has now healed. So, when you think of them you know Who they truly are. They become your saviour as they showed you what you needed to heal within yourself. Simply put, you become neutral about the events of the past with them, and the love which they truly are becomes ever-present in your awareness.
There is a healthier way to approach your most challenging relationships. I’ve done it with two particularly aggressive relationships, and I know you can do it too!
Healing of your relationships begins with giving the pain a purpose other than suffering.
According to the ego, pain is a reminder that you are a suffering and guilty being.
YET, according to your loving Higher Self, the Holy Spirit, pain is a red flag that some correction needs to be done!
That is an important distinction!
All your relationships hold the possibility for healing and peace. It may look like for awhile that you are the only one interested in peace, but that should not discourage you as you are the powerful decision maker who can always choose HOW to think. And, it is important to recognize that the Holy Spirit, which is within each and every one of us, will help that healing occur.
Inspired by a dream I had last year (2023), I have created a Healing Relationships Meditation Bundle to support others in having a Right-Minded approach to their most challenging relationships. I truly hope it resonates with you, serves you and supports you should you choose to purchase it. <3
Please follow this link to learn more about the Healing Relationships Bundle ~
https://www.intinn.ca/collections/healing-relationships-bundles